Clean on the Inside

Take a few minutes and ponder the above image…

Seriously, go ahead. I’ll wait. 

I’ve been reading/studying the Gospel of Matthew a fair bit these past couple of weeks. As someone who has grown up in a Christian church, I have both heard and read this Gospel more times than I can count. A fact which, when compared to the reality that there are still places that have never heard the name of Jesus, astounds me. Why does this astound me? Simply put, every time I actually give my attention to the scriptures, not just read or listen to them passively, but actively engage with and allow the scriptures, through the Holy Spirit, to engage me, God faithfully reveals something new, exposes area’s in my thinking/feeling that need to change, clarifies who Jesus truly is… on and on the list could go. 

This week I was struck by Jesus words of “woes” to the religious leaders of his day. The religious leaders, and much of society, cared very deeply about the appearances of things; often more than they cared about what took place in private or secret. This is, in part, tied to a vast social system of honor and shame, and at a more base level I’d argue simply a part of our fallen human nature. Jesus’ judgements against the religious leaders are preceded by some very hard teachings earlier in the Gospel where Jesus calls out what true discipleship requires: laying down ones own life and fully taking up the cross of Christ. Jesus’ disciples heard some hard words from Jesus, take a quick look at Mt. 10:16-39 if you don’t believe me, and now they are present while He speaks even harder words to the religious leaders. I imagine, hope, that if I were present, I would be paying very close attention to Jesus’ words. Even reading them now, so far removed from the first century, I can feel the judgment and inherent warning deep in my soul. Whereas these words enraged the religious leaders and stirred murder in their hearts, they drive me to knees asking God to deal with the places in me that look more like the religious leaders of Jesus day than a true disciple who has forsaken all for the sake of Christ. 

Jesus rebukes the religious leaders for, metaphorically, only cleaning the outside of the cup while the inside remained filthy. Anyone who has ever washed dishes knows that as you scrub the inside that soapy water is going to pour out over the outside as well. (Yes, I still use the cloth to wipe the outside as well for those who are wondering). 

What pierced my heart as I pondered Jesus rebuke, and the inherent warning to all the others present (including us today), was how often I view my own discipleship as a tightrope walk rather than a journey with my Savior. It is so easy to get caught up in the balancing act, intently focusing on not tipping too far to one side or the other. “Am I doing enough?” “How do others view me?” “Was that good enough?” “Is my heart in the right place?” On and on it goes. Jesus’ description of a true disciple can easily feel like an unattainable ideal. 

On our own we can never meet the “ideal” of true discipleship. The hope of the Gospel, as Oswald Chambers describes it, is that Jesus puts “something into you that will make the ideal and the actual one. Without Jesus Christ there is an unbridgeable gap between the ideal and actual; the only way out is a personal relationship to Him. The salvation of God not only saves us from hell, but alters out actual lives.” (pg. 83 Studies in the Sermon on the Mount)

If like me, you have at times felt like you are walking a tightrope rather than walking hand in hand with your savior, take a moment to first ask God to forgive you for trying to do things on your own. Then ask God to give you a new picture of what it looks like to walk as a disciple of Christ, with Christ, and through Christ. For that is only way for the “cup” to truly become clean; inside and out. 

Childlike faith- Samuel was Healed!

Samuel was healed today! My little boy has experienced the healing touch of God before but was too young to know about it. As a baby he had significant digestive problems. We were unaware at the time that is what the problem was, but my little boy was not keeping most of his food down and was very tiny. When I look back at pictures I see a little alien with a big head and a little body. Samuel lost weight after we left the hospital, as most babies tend to do, the only difference with Samuel is that he wasn't gaining any of the wait back. It wasn't until he was 3 months old that Samuel finally reached his birth weight. We were with him at the hospital and they were doing a test to see if his intestines were tangled up and therefore not letting most of the food pass through his system, but forcing it back up. The test seemed to take forever. We know that there were many people praying for Samuel and that this test would be clean. As the liquid was highlighting Samuel's digestive process it got "stuck". We waited and waited praying that the liquid would move past the 'hump'. If it did not they told us Samuel would need surgery to re-adjust his intestines. We were all praying so desperatly and then all the sudden the liquid rushed through and finished the process and Samuel had no more problems after that. No more spitting up/throwing up 90% of what he ate and that week he finally passed his birth weight and kept growing steadily. We knew that it was a 'God-thing'!

Today... Now fast forward 3 years. This afternoon I was up stairs with Samuel in his bedroom as he was preparing to take a nap. All the sudden he says 'mama I got to potty!' So I told him to go and I would wait for him in his room. Then I hear a loud thud. Samuel say's "my head" and I could tell the screams were on there way so I ran out into the hall, picked him up and swooped him away into my bedroom so that the screams wouldn't wake up his sister who was already asleep. There was silence and then came the wails. I looked at his head and saw the dreaded news. Instead of a red mark or a bump there was a good size indent in his forehead with a red line showing where he ran into the edge of the wall. I immediately held him close and began to pray out loud over him. After about 15 seconds Samuel stopped crying and looked at me. I looked at his forehead and there was no indent, no redness, no bruise nothing! I ran my finger over where I had previously felt the indent and it was smooth. Samuel looked at me and Said "mommy its all better now" I told him "Samuel Jesus Healed you!" and his response was "yea Jesus made Samuel all better, now I get down and go potty Mama" So I let him down and he went potty, then we slowly walked back into his bedroom and Samuel laid down in his bed. We began to pray again before his nap time and we thanked Jesus for healing Samuel and Samuel thanked Jesus himself for making his head all better.

I thank God for his goodness. I have been told my kids doctor all the time "bumps and bruises are o.k. as long as there not too bad but indents are dangerous- especially when the kids are so little". I also thank God that my little boy is becoming aware of the character and goodness of God from the time he is young and I pray that we, that I, am always available to help capture those moments and step out in my Faith mixed with the faith of my little one and see God work.

Thank you God for your provision in my family, for your goodness and care for us. For your attention to the little things and for your gentle, simple reminders of your faithfulness!!!

Amen!

What holds weight?

If religion comprises rules you follow, faith is demonstrated by the actions you take"

When reading lately I have been stopping and thinking about what I just read. A novel idea I know and one I am sure I didn't invent. As I was reading Tribes (by: Seth Godin) the above section caught me and took up my mind for a little while. I began thinking, what are my actions? If I were to really look at the dailies of my life what do I do out of 'rules' and what is actually demonstrated by my actions (when I am not trying to 'make a point'). Is most of my time 'comprised' by rules or 'demonstrated'. Even those two words in themselves communicate a heavy message. I don't have an answer of course, all I know is that I need to spend more time on the question. Maybe we all do. Religion isn't necessarily bad but as Seth also points out in Tribes "Religion works great when it amplifies faith"... "at its worst, Religion reinforces the status Quo, often at the expense faith.

So what is my Religion and what is my Faith?