What gets you in doesn't always get you out

During this time of economic crisis I have found watching the news almost humorous. They parade these Guru's in front of us all claiming to have the cure but none of them able to get us out of the mess. This past week has been even more ridiculous than normal. I found myself laughing out loud as one of our self-proclaimed advisors said that the problem is my fault. American's, me, are only buying what we need, we are watching our money and trying diligently not to over spend. I almost choked on my coffee as he said this with disgust. The very thing that got us into this mess, people overextending themselves and buying things they couldn't afford and buying it on credit, this is what our "advisor" wanted us to start doing again. "We need to encourage the American people to get out there and spend money...start buying things again" He acted as if the fact that Americans are actually using wisdom is a bad thing.  Now just to be accurate, it is a bad thing. If you have built an economy on the understanding that people are going to buy stuff they don't need and not just stuff they don't need but the top of the line stuff they don't need. Not just a new t.v. but a New Plasma 42'' built in DVD player t.v.! 

I found all of this so amusing due to the fact that when this all went down every spokes person I saw on t.v. was emphasizing the fact that what led to this downfall was the combination of lack of regulations mixed with negligent credit/lending companies and throwing in a little bit of over extended home owners (those who either thru their own fault or the deception of the lending agency bought more than they could afford). Now some of those same people are saying that what we need to get us out of this mess is the very thing that got us into this mess. People buying stuff they don't need. 

I know this will sound a little cheesy but I am proud of the every-day American right now. Every time I see people in the market using coupons for the first time or taking the 2 for one special while taking the expensive item out of their cart, I smile a little. Not because of the fact they might not be able to afford it but because they are making an effort to give up what they might want and get what they need. I am proud that this past Christmas sales were down. I am also sad that it will mean that many people, Good People, will loose their jobs. Companies who built themselves and their products on people over extending themselves are now suffering and it effects all of us. I do hope though that this time will serve as an Economic Awakening in America. Maybe its unattainable, maybe we will stay greedy and as thing start to pick up we will go back to over extending ourselves. Slowly at first but in time back to normal. 

As for my family, we have decided that we are going to live with in our means. I know that if everyone does this the economic guru's are going to need to come up with a better plan than getting Americans to buy more. Not only will we try to live with in our means but as our "means" increases we want to continue to live sensibly. This is our goal. We refuse to be another young couple with two kids and 20,000 in credit card debt. We have been able to avoid debt most of our married life and we are committing to stay that way!  

What holds weight?

If religion comprises rules you follow, faith is demonstrated by the actions you take"

When reading lately I have been stopping and thinking about what I just read. A novel idea I know and one I am sure I didn't invent. As I was reading Tribes (by: Seth Godin) the above section caught me and took up my mind for a little while. I began thinking, what are my actions? If I were to really look at the dailies of my life what do I do out of 'rules' and what is actually demonstrated by my actions (when I am not trying to 'make a point'). Is most of my time 'comprised' by rules or 'demonstrated'. Even those two words in themselves communicate a heavy message. I don't have an answer of course, all I know is that I need to spend more time on the question. Maybe we all do. Religion isn't necessarily bad but as Seth also points out in Tribes "Religion works great when it amplifies faith"... "at its worst, Religion reinforces the status Quo, often at the expense faith.

So what is my Religion and what is my Faith? 

A 'new' thought

I had an interesting experience the other day. Well, it was actually normal for most people but for me it was something I have never experienced before.

My husband, Matthew, was at work and I was home with the kids for the day. My youngest was down for a nap and my oldest was on his way to his. It was a laid-back day. I spent some time surfing the web, mainly looking at places to live in Arizona b/c lately I have really wanted to move there. Next I put my boy to bed came back down stairs and did nothing I wasn't really tired and there was not anything 'pressing' that had to be done but more than that I didn't feel like doing anything. That is the interesting thing. I have never felt like doing nothing and then proceed to do nothing. When my kids woke up they wanted to play together in the same crib for a few min. its a novelty they enjoy for some reason so I took the opportunity to lay down in the guest room so I could hear them but give them privacy. As I laid on the futon I prayed 'God pleas help me, I don't feel like doing anything!'. Then I had a though, a thought I have honestly never had before, "What if there's nothing wrong with that?". I don't know where it came from but it is very foreign to my natural way of thinking. I am a doer. I can always find things to do. I have just done nothing! I know what 'nothing' looks like, there are days my husband is a master at doing 'nothing'. Thats not a slam, there are times I envy his ability to just be and not do, but I never knew what that was like. 

There is actually an art form involved in doing nothing. If you do it all the time you are just lazy, if you do nothing but let your mind spend the whole time thinking about what you should be doing or need to do then you just wasted your time. I had spend the day feeling horrible about myself because I wasn't 'doing' anything and didn't want to, but as that thought entered my mind ("what if there's nothing wrong with doing nothing?") the guilt began drift away. It was a rather shocking moment for me to be honest. I only hope that the next time that feeling comes around I can embrace it and enjoy it and let it be useful. 

So here's your assignment, for the few that even read, do nothing and let it be useful. 

Honoring my Mother

Losing a parent is never easy. My mother passed away seven years ago today, December 4th, 2001. She was diagnosed in 1995 with Breast Cancer. At the time my parents were separated and my mom and us girls were living in government housing while she worked stocking shelves at a BigLots for literally $4.15 an hour. She took the job because it would allow her to see us off to school and be home right before us. She always thought of us. After she was diagnosed we moved back into our old house w/my dad. I don't really remember much of anything about that time except that I peeled a lot of carrots, so much so that my hands had an orange tint to them. They found out really quick that my mom was allergic to chemo. It made her so sick and didn't do anything to the cancer...so she went all natural. The woman drank 64 oz of home made carrot juice a day. She said that God told her to do it. She mixed the carrots w/a small amount of onions and apples to help sweeten it up. I don't know how she drank that stuff but some days it was all she could keep down. Not to long after, to everyones surprise, she entered remission. The cancer was gone and life went back to normal. Well normal for us which was pretty dysfunctional. The dysfunctionality grew and soon my parents were divorced. After a few years both my sisters were married and out of the house and it was just me and mom. I was in the last few teenage years of my life. Our relationship was changing though. It was turning into the parent/friend stage. We had long talks, went out to eat a lot with each other, we spent a lot of time together. Of course thru part of this I "hated" her and didn't want her telling me what to do and we had our fights but for some reason our relationship was different. Once I hit 17 God started to do something w/in me. I started changing and I wasn't as angry or rebellious. Thats when our relationship really went deeper. We would stay up until 2 in the morning talking about God and studying the Bible together. We were a lot alike in our giftings and our personalities. Shortly after mom started to get sick again. the Dr.'s had many different idea's...one even swore it was emphysema  from when she smoked as a teen. Right off the bat I knew that it was cancer. I still have the journal entry i wrote in. I knew it was cancer and that this time she wouldn't make it. It wasn't a lack of faith or that I didn't believe in miracles. It was just something I knew. My mom knew it as well. We used to talk about it. I remember seeing her in the hospital and some of the people from the church were there and they were all talking about what it would be like when she was healed and walking around again. She told them that she knew God would heal her. After they left the room she would tell me that her 'healing' was coming in heaven. 

So on December 4th 2001 she received her healing and moved on from this world. 

Linda Lou Brinkman was an amazing, faithful woman of God. She was a model of character and compassion. She was a home-missionary to the homeless of Westminster, MD. She cared for them and treated them better than anyone they had ever encountered. I only wish I was able to have time with her. Time to learn from her, to ask her questions, parenting questions or faith questions. I truly miss her. Her greatest desire was to be closer to Jesus. And now she is spending eternity fulfilling that desire. I can only hope that in the end of my life I can look back and say that I was at least 1/2 the woman of God I consider my Mother to be. 

I love you mom, 

your daughter