This month marks eleven years since the passing of my Mother, Linda Lou (Hoban) Brinkman. This week my Sister found a letter that my Mom wrote to me when I was around 13 years old, that she never gave to me, or if she did I forgot because I was only 13. She opened the letter by calling me her 'Angel' and reminded me about ten times in three pages that I am a messenger of God, and that is why God had her name me Angela, which as it happens means messenger of God. She reminded me to always follow the call of God and to walk in obedience. Nothing in this letter was new, my Mom was always great with words and communicating her love to us, she never failed to encourage us, so this letter was not the 'here's all the things I wish I had said to you more often' kind of letter. It was all the things she was constantly telling me to the point of my annoyance. While the whole letter was an emotional read to say the least, it was her final words that hit the hardest: "Know that God will be a Father to you and a Friend to you. He wants to be your JOY and DELIGHT... Though He is a Father, know that He has the heart of a Mother. A heart of unconditional love and compassion." Reading these words I was reminded of Jesus' own words for the Jews, weeping over them, wishing He could gather them together like a hen does her chicks under her wing (Lk.13:34); and of Gods promise to comfort Israel as a mother comforts her child (Is. 66). You see, my father was not the greatest Dad for the majority of my life, so from early on God was my only Father, even though I was terribly angry with Him and misunderstood Him, still He was all I had. My Mom reminded me of these words one other time, it was the last time I saw her before she passed. She knew that I knew God was my Father and that God had been filling that role in my life but she wanted me to know that when she left this earth I was not alone, I was not an orphan, just as God was my Father, He would also be my Mother. All the roles that are divided between parents in the care, nurturing, and development of their child, God would fulfill. I have treasured those words in my heart! My Mom wrote this letter toward the end of her first bout with cancer, of which she survived and went onto five years of remission. As we celebrated her fifth year and looked forward with hope my Mom fell ill again and after five years of cancer-free check-ups the cancer had returned and spread through out. I had wonderful conversations with my Mom during this time, and many tears, but she would always remind me to stay close to God and to trust in Him. These are the things I will forever hold onto. Not because it was what she said to me towards the end of her life but because I had watcher her live those words from the time I was young. Now the best way I know to honor her memory is live in a like manner, walking close to the Father, listening to His voice, and following His path no matter where it may lead. And that is the legacy I hope to leave my kids...the same as my Mother left to me... may it go on through each generation until Christ returns Amen!
