Sunday, December 28

A 'new' thought

I had an interesting experience the other day. Well, it was actually normal for most people but for me it was something I have never experienced before.

My husband, Matthew, was at work and I was home with the kids for the day. My youngest was down for a nap and my oldest was on his way to his. It was a laid-back day. I spent some time surfing the web, mainly looking at places to live in Arizona b/c lately I have really wanted to move there. Next I put my boy to bed came back down stairs and did nothing I wasn't really tired and there was not anything 'pressing' that had to be done but more than that I didn't feel like doing anything. That is the interesting thing. I have never felt like doing nothing and then proceed to do nothing. When my kids woke up they wanted to play together in the same crib for a few min. its a novelty they enjoy for some reason so I took the opportunity to lay down in the guest room so I could hear them but give them privacy. As I laid on the futon I prayed 'God pleas help me, I don't feel like doing anything!'. Then I had a though, a thought I have honestly never had before, "What if there's nothing wrong with that?". I don't know where it came from but it is very foreign to my natural way of thinking. I am a doer. I can always find things to do. I have just done nothing! I know what 'nothing' looks like, there are days my husband is a master at doing 'nothing'. Thats not a slam, there are times I envy his ability to just be and not do, but I never knew what that was like. 

There is actually an art form involved in doing nothing. If you do it all the time you are just lazy, if you do nothing but let your mind spend the whole time thinking about what you should be doing or need to do then you just wasted your time. I had spend the day feeling horrible about myself because I wasn't 'doing' anything and didn't want to, but as that thought entered my mind ("what if there's nothing wrong with doing nothing?") the guilt began drift away. It was a rather shocking moment for me to be honest. I only hope that the next time that feeling comes around I can embrace it and enjoy it and let it be useful. 

So here's your assignment, for the few that even read, do nothing and let it be useful. 

1 comment:

Cautivante said...

Ok, I can actually say I just did nothing. For the last 10 minutes a forced myself to sit in a closet and wait for the timer to go off. I thought about my breathing and just relaxed. Seemed like a long 10 minutes though and I had to quit trying after two minutes of subduing thoughts that kept coming up. Actually I don't think they were thoughts because if I could locate the spot on my body it would have been in my spirit area. It was the old song Maniac. About dancing really. I kept hearing the part, "And she's dancing like she never danced before" I've enjoyed the challenge lately of letting all the preconceived notions of what Christianity is suppose to look like start falling off. I just want to BE. Thanks for sharing