Wednesday, September 25

Confessions: I'm enticed by the law

Driving home last night following a lecture at a rather liberal institution I discovered, or rather God revealed, that a part of me still desires to live by the law, and is actually enticed by works. Growing up in the Church I know living under and following the law is impossible and leads to death. I know Christ has covered us with grace and given us life. This does not imply there is no law but that through the grace of Christ and the empowerment of the Spirit we are now able to fulfill the law of Christ. We are empowered to manifest the fruits of the Spirit, to love God and love our neighbor.

I know all of this. Nevertheless,  I find that as I read complex books on theology, watch scholarly debates between various views online, and sit in lectures at various places, I feel drawn into the cerebral, drawn into the form, into the idea that knowing is enough. The flesh within is wrestling against the Spirit. I know (to a degree) how my mind works. I am logical in my though process, asking the question of where each thought/belief leads to and the out workings along the way, deciding if I agree with the end result/conclusions and working out any kinks I find along the way. I unconsciously develop a strange loyalty to what I know to be true. However, my desire is to know Christ, not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit. This does not negate the mind, but rather I must remember that my mind is not the filter, rather the Holy Spirit of Christ living inside of me is the filter.

Driving home I found myself repenting. Repenting for the part of my flesh that desires the 'form of Godliness' knowing the form is without power. Repenting for desiring the law, works, and natural understanding over the freedom offered through Christ. My prayer is once again that I would intimately know(with a knowing that goes further than mental understanding and ascent) Christ, the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, so that I may attain to the resurrection from the dead (phil. 3:10). My prayer is that Jesus would not simply be in my heart (from a western understanding) but through His grace I would submit my life to Him and allow the very life of Christ to be made manifest through my life, so that it is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. Christ guiding my mind, my thoughts, my emotions, and the out working of those thoughts/emotions into action, no longer enticed by the law but led by the very Spirit of God. 


Michael said...

Very well said. I especially like "I must remember that my mind is not the filter, rather the Holy Spirit of Christ living inside of me is the filter."
To be just a mist of my flesh and allowing Christ to be seen in my life. I agree in prayer with you and also pray the same for myself. said...

Thanks for your comments @Michael. I am glad you will be sharing the same prayer as I and so many others do. Blessings